My First Pregnancy: Not What I Expected

Pregnancy in Georgia is almost like everywhere else - but when the bump shows, you are suddenly treated as a very fragile thing. Sometimes it's irritating, but mostly very sweet, as people are accommodating and helpful.

However, the most important thing I learned during my first pregnancy in 2021-22 was: EXPECTATIONS SUCK. Just don’t have any. After testing positive twice on June 14, I saw myself exercising, doing yoga, hanging out in the parks and vineyards, reading a lot of fun books, buying cute baby stuff… and gaining a lot of weight, because I knew how much I loved to eat. However, many things ended up being very different.

Weight and Food Cravings

Only when the 8th month was coming to an end, did people start to notice my bump. I was taking buses in Tbilisi, literally boiling with disappointment, because the frequency of hearing the phrase “Oh, you’re pregnant, please take a seat!!” was lower than when I simply gained a lot of weight at endless supras with my guests!

Me teaching a wine class on week 29, almost no bump in sight

My cat Dio and I, week 39

Pregnancy in Tbilisi wasn't so difficult in terms of food. I was eating quite well and healthy, with the occasional raiding of the Asian fast-food restaurants for generous portions of tom yum. Not that I had weird cravings like herring and chocolate together, but I definitely rediscovered the Ukrainian food and was eating a lot of Borschtsch and that beetroot salad we call Vinaigrette/Vinegret. Also, a mint toothpaste, mint mouthwash and Orbit Winterfresh became my friends: I was compulsively brushing my teeth and buying all Orbits in the kiosks and pharmacies nearby.

That was it. I gained around 12 kilograms that became noticeable when the pregnancy was almost over, and lost them faster than any insta fitness guru can advertise. How to lose 8 kilograms in two days? Get pregnant, gain ‘em, give birth, lose ‘em. A wonderful recipe, isn’t it?

Issues You Never Want To Encounter

A sunny day in Imereti, a work trip from a winery to a winery is going on. Week 12. Pregnancy is not a sickness, toxicosis is not that bad, and work is work! Was it a long time on the road or 40 degrees Celsius? Who knows. Once we arrived for dinner at AgroHouse Korena, one of my most favourite places to eat in Imereti, I went to the bathroom and saw blood on my underwear.

First thought: my husband is in New York. If it’s a miscarriage, how do I tell him?

Second thought: I never wanted to become the mother of THIS child so badly.

Long story short: thanks to my colleague Tina, who knew everyone in Kutaisi, I’ve got an appointment at the hospital without prior booking at 5 PM, and was informed that my newly grown placenta has attached itself to the back wall down near the cervix and is covering it.

Of course, there were another 27 weeks to go, and things could change, but from that moment on, I had to be especially careful. No extensive travelling, no bumpy roads (hence no wineries and no tours), no exposure to heat (no city tours in summer)... Basically, I spent my summer under AC, hugging my cat and reading. At least reading and TV series, as I hoped!

Prenatal Yoga and Kegel

None of those. Because the placenta was making itself comfortable on my cervix. Alright, as long as it did its job for the baby, it was alright. Out of all the activity options available for a pregnant woman, I only went to the studio of Anna Deviata (Yoga Studio 9) for breathing exercises and walked a lot. No stretches, no Kegel, nothing. You can imagine how strong my frustration was!

Nesting

Week 17. When I came home with a refractometer (a thing that measures sugar level in grapes), a corking tool and the paid invoice for a stainless steel vat and bottles, Zviad, my husband, carefully said that he imagined the nesting of a pregnant woman differently.

A couple of weeks later, I bought some primitive lab tools to measure sugar levels in the fermenting grape must. On the week 20, we were harvesting Chinuri grapes and making wine at Zviad’s uncle’s place. I wanted to make wine for the first year of the baby more than to buy a crib and cute clothes, and nothing could stop me.

Harvesting Chinuri

As you see, major expectations were completely busted - some sabotaged by my body and a sad coincidence, and some by my hormones that confused nappy shopping with grape harvesting. But the biggest surprise was yet to come…

To be honest with you, gender reveal parties in Tbilisi and Georgia are something that mostly bloggers do for pictures. The countryside people have probably never heard of such a thing, and regular pregnant couples just don’t usually go for it - at least, I never attended one or saw a friend doing it.

I also didn’t see it coming, but a friend of mine who organises weddings, engagements and other family events, offered me to have a gender reveal party, and I agreed. Just for the sake of a small family party in a pretty place! Gatherings during the covid time were rare, and I didn’t want to miss a chance to gather the closest ones.

Wine of Truth

We scheduled the date and went to my doctor two days in advance. After checking all the necessary things, she went on to check the private parts of the baby. I held my breath, my eyes closed (only Slava, my friend, had to know first).

“You know, I’m not sure what I see”, finally said Shorena, my doctor. “The kid has its legs crossed. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea, so I'd better not tell you”.

“But we have a party arranged the day after tomorrow!”, we pleaded. “Please look again and write it on the paper for Slava. If it is wrong in the end, it’s going to become a funny family story”.

Two days later, Zviad and I found ourselves in front of the table with pink and blue wine in the glasses for the guests to make a bet, and a covered vial with wine for us to pour into the glass and discover the gender of our future child.

We have never been a patriarchal Georgian family that wanted a boy, an heir, a male, a specimen to be their firstborn. Actually, we even wanted a girl. I had a dream about her: a curly girl with chestnut-coloured hair and dark eyes. Zviad daydreamed about a ginger one with blue eyes.

Everyone held their breath, I took an empty glass, Zviad tipped the covered vial, and the bright pink liquid gushed down the glass walls.

It was a girl! Now we could feast and celebrate.

Surprises You Never Want To Experience

Months later, on week 29, we had a baby shower combined with my birthday almost in the same company. There were no stupid competitions like drinking from a diaper (I found even worse ideas online!). We had a ceramic class, shared wine, and I’ve got showered with plenty of relevant presents - some cute clothes, all white, beige and green, and some really fancy dresses for a newborn that would cost like a dress for an adult and look even better.

Two days later, my doctor informed me that sometimes, in case of placenta previa (remember, that unpleasant position, when placenta covers the cervix), not only a C-section can happen to a woman. In especially bad cases placenta can grow in, and in this case, a woman is losing certain organs. Mostly the reproductive ones. Sometimes the bladder. Depends where it decides to grow in.

“I don’t want to scare you, but I have to warn you, so that you’ll be fully informed. Usually, the women who had an abortion, cesarean or other surgery are in the risk group, but previa is such a rare and unpleasant case that you'd better be prepared for anything”.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t in the risk group, I cried for a couple of days, and agnostically prayed too. Someone over there might still have heard me.

Why Women With Balls Is Nonsense

On the week 32, I found an obstetrician I wanted to give birth with, and made up my mind about the maternity hospital. The placenta was still sitting on the cervix and laughing at my efforts to keep calm and carry on.

We scheduled the C-section on January 14. My due date was February 12, but it ought to be kind of safer to meet the baby (Zoe, we stopped on the version Zoe) earlier.

The last check-up was on January 11. I looked at the faces of the doctor who did the ultrasound and my obstetrician, and felt that something weird was happening.

“So how is the placenta doing?” I finally asked.

“It doesn’t cover the cervix anymore. It moved. Usually, it doesn’t move from the back wall of the uterus, because it doesn’t stretch as much as the front wall. Seems like a real miracle happened within the last two weeks”.

“And how is the girl doing?” I asked, completely shocked.

“A girl?” The ultrasound guy raised his eyebrows.

“Who else then?!”

The ultrasound guy started looking for the baby’s back and legs again.

“Never seen a girl with such prominent balls”, he finally said, demonstrating to us something definitely prominent. Our humble baby who was sitting as a little shy buddha for the whole term, decided to do a manspread.

Here comes my explanation of why I think that the expression “woman with balls” is nonsense :) First, there is no such thing, and our Zoe ended up being Daniel. Second, if you ask me, balls are a very vulnerable part, while vaginas can do crazy, unbelievable stuff.

Talking about crazy stuff - follow me to the birth story, as pregnancy is almost over. After the C-section on January 14 was cancelled, Zviad, I, my mother, who came to help me, and the baby doing manspread, had to wait for exactly one month till we met each other.